Seasons of Smut
by Jharoz
Summary: Mahariel never wanted any of this. Being a Warden. Fighting the Darkspawn. Killing an Archdemon. All he wanted was some wine, women, and something to kill. Oh well, he'll try and squeeze the former in. Lemons and smut along with plenty of blood and guts!


***ahem***

**Hi.**

**I am usually notorious for long author's notes, so I'll try to keep it as short but precise as possible.**

**I've played Dragon Age a dozen times, I've gotten ALL of the achievements, and beat Awakening just as many times, if not more.**

**Its setting made me think, though. It's set inside of a medieval universe and we all know that kind of place is largely involved with smut.**

**However, there's not many mention of said smut. I intend to rectify that.**

** That's not to say that Leliana/Mahariel shippers will cry foul, Ol' Mahariel will end up with Leliana. He's just... a womanizer.**

**And I'm also quick to say that smut is not the only subject of this story. Action and double-crosses along with some of my 'humor' will be**

**Also; Mahariel looks exactly like he does from the poster. Those long black ebony locks and er'thing.**

**I'll shut up, now.**

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* * *

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A quick rustle of the bushes is all that took for Tamlen of the Dalish tribe to redirect the aim of his Halla horn carved recurve towards the unlikeliest of foes. An orange haired human clad in normal peasant clothing was flanked by two equally dressed humans, each of them sporting a look of terror that made Tamlen involuntarily smirk. "It's a Dalish!" the red head called.

"And you three are somewhere you shouldn't be." Tamlen muttered darkly.

"Out of our way elf, we have no business with you!" the blonde on the left shouted. He tried to walk past him but was quickly shoved off by Tamlen's bow.

"Oh, how the tables have turned..." he spoke in a nearly sing-song tone.

"Wha-what d'you want from us? We didn't know this was your forest, Dalish!" the redhead proclaimed. Tamlen scoffed.

"This is not 'my' forest, it's the forest that I reside in" Tamlen grounded out tersely.

"But-hey!" the one on the left with the brown hair exclaimed. Tamlen's eyes followed their view and he knew exactly why the human made his outburst.

"So nice of you to join me _Lethallin. _I began to suspect that you would pay no heed to my calling." Tamlen said to what seemed like nothing.

A voice answered his call. "_Abelas, _Tamlen. I was on the trail of a beautiful-"

"Woman?" Tamlen cut off with a cocked eyebrow.

"-ah, no-no. Oh what's the point." the humans shook as the voice spoke again and were absolutely terrified when another Dalish elf landed on the ground after falling from overhead.

"Theron, what could you make out with these _shemlen?" _Tamlen questioned.

Theron stood from his landing position and moved very close to one of the human's faces. The human almost instinctively rushed backward but was soon trapped in the yellow glare of the elf's eyes. "Hmm. Very interesting. Tell me, _shemlen,_ what is it that you wish from the forest? There is nothing for you, here."

"We didn't mean any trouble! We just found a cave!" the human cried.

"And you expect me to believe this? We've lived in this forest for ages. I believe I would know if there was such thing." Theron chided.

"It's true! I found this stone inside the cave!" the blonde said, reaching into his knapsack and presented a smooth grey stone.

Theron looked at the stone, bewildered, and flicked his head over to Tamlen. Theron's compatriot understood, lowering his bow and snatching the stone from the human's hands.

This time it was Tamlen's turn to have a bewildered expression. "What is this? Elvish? _Written _Elvish?" Tamlen ran his index finger along the carvings barely listening to Theron's interrogation of the intruding humans.

Theron instantly unsheathed his Dar'Misu and pointed it at the blonde's neck "Where did you find this?" Theron questioned in low tone. The blonde's eyes widened, his throat now as dry as a drunken -or regular, now that Theron thought about it-dwarf's humor.

"Augh...ughh..." was the best that could come out of the poor man's mouth.

"What's that?" Theron leaned in closer, leering. "I don't speak stupid _shemlen._ Dull it down for me, please?" the point of his sword was so close to the unnamed human's throat, he swear it dripped blood.

"Listen, Dalish! We found it in the cave to the north of here!" the red head shouted desperately.

Theron's glare made its way to the other human. "Then why didn't you find more?"

The red head took a step back defensively. "It's because we could only loot from the shallow graves littered about, there! We tried to go in farther but we were... dissuaded back by a huge demon!"

The brunette stood in to defend their innocence, as well. "I saw it! It was mammoth, with beady black eyes!"

Theron acknowledged this story by removing his blade from the blonde's neck. "Interesting. Tamlen? What do you suppose?"

Tamlen's musings about the Elven artifact were finally interrupted by Theron's question and he stumbled with his words. "I...uhh..huh?"

Theron snorted. "Eloquent." he muttered sarcastically. "As for you three. You fulfilled your purpose. Run along now."

The blonde finally spoke up. "No! We made it through the cavern and brought you this stone! We demand half of the assets!" the blonde said pointedly, his arms crossed. The other two humans were making gestures trying to warn their friend to shut up, but he wouldn't have any of it.

Theron's head reared back and he blinked. "Oh. Well, if that's the case..." he said, in an almost understanding tone. The blonde nodded and huffed with arrogance. However, he didn't see the quick draw of Theron's dagger and the poor the human's throat had a gaping wound along his Adam's apple. "...I guess this'll do for your 'loot', yes?" He turned to the others. "Warn your little pack of friends that we do not enjoy strangers amongst the trees. You'd do best to move along, else you join your companion's fate." he advised, motioned to the now crumpled form of the arrogant human.

The humans were more than likely to acquiesce to Theron's desire. Theron grunted and wiped some of the blonde's blood off his cheek. "Ah, that could've gone better."

Tamlen shrugged. "It's good for those _shemlen_ to have learned some manners. Now, what say you of this?" He gestured to the stone.

Theron took a quick glance before shrugging. "I can't make heads or tails of it. However, the Keeper might know." he suggested.

"True. And what of this cave that the _shemlen _spoke of? I'm awfully curious."

"Easy, _lethallin._ Adventure has a strange taste of going out and biting us."

"Oh come now, Theron, you can't honestly tell me you are not interested in the prospect of learning more about our forgotten lore?"

"I'd just say we shouldn't be so hasty. I advise going to the Keeper about this; first."

"Well, unless you have this stone," Tamlen began and Theron noticed his companion's grip of the stone intensified, "then the Keeper won't believe your story so well, hm?" And with that, Tamlen began his trek; due north.

"Tamlen, Tamlen wait! Oh damn it all..." Theron begrudgingly followed after Tamlen in his odd taste for adventure.

* * *

Their footsteps mimicked each other's; their pace evenly set. "So tell me, what is it that makes you think finding the cavern first would help us at all?" Theron questioned harshly.

"Glory and honor. We find our lost lore, we became part of that lore. Don't tell me even you don't realize this?" Tamlen responded.

"Yes, well, we'd only be lore before we find whatever you're looking for..."

Tamlen was about to make a retort before Theron sent an outstretched arm, halting the two.

"Wolves." Theron whispered. "Feeding on that fallen Halla."

Tamlen nodded and loaded an arrow into his bow. Theron gave a nod and Tamlen's arrow hit home, piercing into the gut of the wolf that was feasting on the Halla's eye. The other wolves of the pack set their meal aside for later and growled fiercely. Menacingly.

The world seemed to explode as Theron bursted through the bushes, sword and dagger in hand. He stabbed the first wolf he saw along the neck with his dagger than followed up with slash from his sword to the next wolf's back, breaking its spine.

However, the remaining two wolves were not content to fall to Theron's blade and showed this by jumping up and biting Theron's left and right wrists; digging their fangs into his bracers hoping to get into flesh.

Theron dropped his swords and tried shaking them off and felt a canine of the wolf on the left's teeth dig through and into his skin and the pain was hard to cope with. Tamlen, however, did not see it fit to watch his hunting mate fall too quickly so he immediately sent off a shot towards Theron's direction and the arrow imbedded itself into the eye socket of the left wolf.

Theron, acting quickly grabbed his fallen dagger with his available hand and stabbed the wolf that was still biting into his right bracer at least seventeen times in the skull. Theron rubbed his cuffs and glared at Tamlen. "You know, if we die; I am blaming you. There's no questions about it."

"But you-" Tamlen began.

"AHTZ." Theron interrupted with an obnoxious sound.

"What is-"

"DWOT."

"Stop tha-"

"GWAR."

"You're being chil-"

"MLLLAR. Now shut up."

Tamlen looked at the raven haired Dalish evenly. "What was that?"

Theron shrugged. "You tried to make an excuse."

"Vhen'alas help me.." Tamlen muttered to himself.

The two took a few more steps forward before noticing a steep decent along with a dark cavern that greeted them. "There, see? You found your cave. Now let's _go._ If ancient Dalish lore is tucked away here, there's bound to be something not exactly welcoming guarding it." Theron tried to usher Tamlen back up the hillside but he wouldn't have any of it.

"No, we made it all the way here; why turn back now?" Tamlen crossed the threshold of the cave with Theron in tow.

"I swear you're going to be the death of me."

* * *

Inside of the cave, was a tomb. Cobwebs littered the sarcophaguses and rust was clearly evident on the iron statues. Tamlen absorbed everything with interest like a young boy digests information from his father. Theron, however, looked nowhere near as entertained. "We need to hurry this up." Theron found himself saying every five minutes.

"Why?" Tamlen finally asked.

"Because we don't belong here; can't you tell? This place is not exactly saying 'come one, come all!'"

"You're just being paranoid."

"Or you're being trusting."

Tamlen chose to ignore Theron's comment and opened the door to the next room. "See it isn't so-"

"TAMLEN GET DOWN!" Theron bellowed and followed it up by tackling Tamlen to the ground. Tamlen would have protested to this but felt the temperature rise and decided to look up.

Oh, flames were gushing through the wall facing the door he just opened.

Lovely.

The fire died down eventually and both of them settled on the ground for a moment.

However, the hiss of unknown monster brought Tamlen out of his reverie and he looked up with terror.

Oh, two giant eight-legged creatures with eight eyes were clambering after the two.

Lovely.

"Would you get the fuck off of me?" Tamlen kicked Theron off just in time to stumble over to his bow and quiver to start dealing blows.

Theron found himself under one of the these monster while Tamlen fired potshots at the other.

Goo started dripping from the thing's mouth and landed right on Theron's forehead. "Oh, oh shit. That's REALLY gross." Theron reached around with his right hand, searching for his dropped weapon while the left hand kept the monster's fangs away from Theron's face be it trying to punch the disgusting creature or gouge out one of its many eyes.

Meanwhile, Tamlen kept drawing arrows and firing them at the other eight-legged beast with each and every arrow hitting the large sack on the back of its disproportional body. The arrows seemed to do next to nothing as the juggernaut of a monster continued to charge straight for Tamlen like nobody's business. He loaded his bow and shot off another arrow quickly, not even bothering to aim, and by some, next to miraculous, stroke of luck, the arrow was lodged straight into his opponent's skull. The beast screeched and promptly fell down to the ground.

Tamlen let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding and looked over at Theron only to be impressed... and slightly disturbed.

The sight was pretty gruesome, as Theron got a hold of one of his dropped items and plunged it into the creature's mouth again and again. Blood and juice and ooze gushed out of its gaping wound and fell straight onto Theron's face, but he didn't care; that beast had to die. Finally after thirteen stabs, the beast let out a shrill cry and let its body fall limp on top of Theron.

Tamlen chuckled and it soon turned into full blown laughter as he heard from under the crumpled monster's corpse "GET. THIS. THING. OFF. OF. ME."

Tamlen ceased his giggles and pried the eight-legged spawn off of Theron. The black-haired Dalish jumped off the ground and immediately head-butted Tamlen. "We are leaving."

The head-butt caused him to stumble back and he frowned. "Oh come now, _lethallin._ We're nearly there."

"There. Where is 'there'?" Theron asked gruffly.

"The lore! I'm being honest with you, I think it's in the next room."

"Along with something wanting to kill us..." Theron muttered.

The duo opened the door to the 'lore' room and was greeted only by a bronze circle in the ground, another door, and two corpses sans skin. Theron crossed his arms. "Yup. Lore."

Tamlen grunted and stepped onto the circle to get to the next door. "This one I'm sure of-" But he was cut off as a puff of green gas emitted from the circle and one of the skeletons was reanimated and brought back to life with his buddy following.

"Oh damn it all!" Theron shouted and began combat with the other skeleton as Tamlen struggled against the other skeleton's death grip on his neck.

The skeleton Theron fought was being very careful with his blows, opting to stay on the defensive with his shield as Theron began a merciless barrage of blows from his dagger and sword but he quickly noticed that Tamlen was indeed in a bit of a bind. "Tamlen!" he shouted getting the other Dalish's attention before noticing a sword flying through the air and lodging itself into the skeleton's face.

The grip on Tamlen was quickly released and Tamlen snatched the sword out of his opponent's skull and began mercilessly slashing at the pile of bones.

Theron, one weapon down, had to go on the defensive as the skeleton used his shield to bash away Theron's downward stab with his dagger and followed up the shield bash with a slash that cut Theron's cheek. "Tch.."

However, the skeleton left no quarter in the battle as the living dead began another flurry of strikes from its sword causing Theron to twist and contort his body to dodge the blows. After dodging a shield bash, Theron noticed a crack in the skeleton's defense and took advantage of it. His opponent slashed side-ways but Theron blocked the slash with his dagger and punched the skeleton in the skull hard enough for it to dislodge itself from the spine.

The skeleton 'body' crumpled into nothing more than bones, but the skull was still bounding about aiming to bite off Theron's ankles. Only a little bit unnerved by this, Theron's booted foot met the crown of the skull and promptly crushed it into dust. Theron acknowledged his victory by merely dabbing his index and middle finger onto the cut on cheek, drawing some blood on it, and tasting it.

Tamlen walked over and handed Theron his sword adorned with a sheepish grin. Theron glared at Tamlen, snatched his sword away, and simply said, "I fucking hate you."

His companion winced, but then noticed Theron opened the door behind the circle. "This had better be worth it."

Tamlen nodded exhrbertly "Oh it's definitely going to be worth it!" he exclaimed with glee.

However, instead of there being the library Tamlen was expecting... there was a stench. "Oh, gods; what is that smell?"

He looked up and saw a... black nose. A snout. A face. A...body...of a bear...with spikes imbedded in it?

Theron turned to Tamlen, calmly. "I really. REALLY fucking hate you right now." And those were the final words before all hell broke loose.

The bear tackled Theron and started swinging its mighty paws towards the poor elf's face in hopes of tearing it off. Theron rolled from side to side dodging the blows, hearing the stone erode from each and every strike. A part of the bear's claw nicked Theron's left ear and he shouted angrily, "Don't just fucking stand there! SHOOT THE DAMN THING!" before dodging another downward strike with his upper body while his legs kicked feebly at the bear's chest.

Tamlen's senses were regained and he finally took into account that his friend is in danger! A few arrows were loaded into the bow and shot at the bear before the beast's attention was drawn away from Theron and onto Tamlen.

The Dalish archer was rammed into the stone by the bear's forward momentum and he could've sworn his back broke. The monster's assault didn't stop there, however, as its mighty claws tried to cut, dice, and slash its way to Tamlen's brain. Theron stumbled his way back to standing position before doing his best to get the beast off of Tamlen by jabbing at its sides and kicking its face, but it was to no avail as the bear's attack on Tamlen would not cease.

Theron took a step back and tried ramming into the side of the creature to knock it over, but it just caused the assault on Tamlen to worsen.

Tamlen saw the bear face lunge out to him and he grabbed both high and low of its dangerous maw, trying to force it away from his face. What was Theron doing?

Theron took three steps back and thought for a split second before getting an idea. He ran towards the bear gaining as much momentum as possible before sliding down on his knees with his sword and dagger pointed up cutting into the bear's guts and stomach and all of the body parts before ending at the neck.

Tamlen noticed the bear's force on its jaw slackened before its face fell completely away from him as the body was shoved away from him and off of Theron.

The poor hunter was covered in sweat and blood from the deaths of all these creatures and Theron was sure that the gods themselves hated his tribe.

Tamlen, on the other hand, was visibly shaking. Theron offered Tamlen a hand. "Come now, _lethallin._ The fight is over. Let us adhere to this 'lore.' And be off."

Tamlen grabbed the offering graciously and sighed. "I am not so sure, Theron. It seems as though if we continue on, the challenges would only increase."

"Well good thing this is the last room, hm?" Tamlen looked on ahead. All that was left in this room, besides the rotting corpse of the beast, was a mirror.

Tamlen gasped with amazement. "It's...it's beautiful. What do you think the carvings say?"

Theron chuckled at Tamlen's childish display. "Well, I'm sure the Keeper could translate it."

Tamlen took a step towards it, mesmerized. "Maybe... but she's not here to help. I'm more interested in the fact that it's all put together. I'd expect it to be broken like everything else in this place, especially with that... thing around."

"It's certainly stra-"

"Hey, did you see that?" Tamlen interrupted, tersely.

"What?" Theron took a step, as well.

"I think something moved inside that mirror."

"Well, that's not entirely welcoming is it?" Theron stated lamely.

"Hold on, let me see it." A ripple moved along the surface of the mirror. "There it is again!"

"Again, not welcoming at all."

"It probably saw us. I just need a closer look..." Tamlen's hand rested upon the glass. "There's...there's a tower."

"Tamlen, stop."

"And... great blackness..."

"Tamlen, get away."

"It saw me! He-help! I can't look away!" Theron moved to tackle Tamlen out of the way but a burst of great, blinding light halted him; forcing him back, well enough away from Tamlen.

Then everything went dark.

* * *

Theron's consciousness soon came back and his unfocused gaze saw the grizzled face of a man kneeling beside him.

The man spoke tenderly, "Can you hear me?"

Theron rose a hand, weakly towards the man's face.

He gently took Theron's hand. "I am... very sorry."

Then Theron's eyes found their way to the back of his skull.

* * *

**Well, that's one chapter done; many soon to follow.**

**As you can tell, not a whole lot of smut going down.**

**I have a planned lemon, however, for chapter 3. Get ready.**

**Other than that see you next time!**

**You know what to do.**

**Read  
Rave  
Review**

**Later~!  
Jharoz **


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